A Reading from the Book of Revelations...

I'll begin tonights sermon with a quote from Saint Benny

"Somewhere in Ann Arbor, a black tuba player in the michigan band is writting a blog entry entitled DIRTY DIRTY GATOR WHORES" -Benny Torres

Yes my people. Armageddon is upon us. Just as I predicted many moons ago, the Gators are going to the national championship game! Repent your sins now! Give up your earthly posessions, bathe in holy water, and thank GOD for he is a Bruin fan! The hand of GOD came down and switched USC's playbook with Ron Zook's. The hand of GOD put Reggie Nelson and Chris Leak in gator uniforms for a reason! Can I Get an AMEN!

My flock, we have entered the land of the Wolves. Big 10 Wolves. Ohh yes, the haters have become large like Goliath, but we, yes we have SEC Championship rocks in our slingshot. We have won the toughest conference in America. Yes, Michigan is in the Big 2/Little 8, and yes they only lost by 3 to Ohio State, but who else have they played? Notre Dame! Notre Dame! What is that, French? I thought we vanquished the French in WWII? Remember freedom fries? Can I get an AMEN!

My children, do not fear, for GOD is my haterblocker! Since the lord came down and cleansed the village whore that is the BCS, I have spent many a night reading on why Florida jumped Michigan in the BCS. So many haters. The voters didn't want a rematch, michigan is being penalized for not having a conference championship, the sky is blue, FSU Sucks, etc. My gentle sheep, the Lord doesn't reward those who sit on their asses and cry! The lord rewards those who get off their asses and cry, which Urban Meyer did, and did well.

Followers of Christ, 50% of the christian earth thinks the BCS got it right. The other 50% think the BCS got it wrong, GOD doesn't exist, and it's ok to marry your sister! Tell these devils to go back to where they came from, Tallahassee! For even the most ignorant Georgia Bulldog and the most in-breed Tennessee Vol are routing for the Gators and the SEC to champion OSU, whose hebrew name translate into "bait used to feed alligators".

I'd like to end with a prayer... Lord, thank you for returning Florida Football to the mountain top. We have suffered for so long. Many have fallen to the tyranny of Ron Zook. But we have survived. We have survived Ron Zook. We have survived Dan Mullen's special olympic play calling. We have survived Kirk Herbstreit Big 10 bias. We have survived. We survived the nation's toughest schedule and we thank you lord. And yes lord, we know you are indeed a Gator Fan, and we are thankful for your love.

AMEN


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