Slow News Day... Unless You're Cuban

What an un-eventful day. Up until 11:00pm I really didn't have anything to blog about. I was going to share a quote I saw on the simpsons today, comment on Bush in south Florida, and that's it. It was going to go something like this.....

Lisa: Bart, you don't understand anything about women.
Bart: Understanding women is easy, it's state capitals that's hard!

I agree with Bart 100%. I think I almost understand the female mind. I know I promised to do a few posts on "Why Women are Crazy" but I've been so busy with the ZK Website and Reunion Weekend stuff.

In other news, Bush took a 2 day trip to south Florida recently and they interviewed him on the ABC affiliate down here. I still find it funny when people interview Bush on anything complicated. He's got more moves then Michael Jackson at Motown 25 (or Usher at the BET Awards if you're culturally challenged.) Bush answering questions on the conflict between Israel and Lebanon is like me trying to win a Japanese spelling bee. Like the facebook group says "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry".

Anywho, I planned to end the blog right there and call it a day, no need to waste your time with me rambling on about how my day was, what I had for lunch, etc. But then some other stuff happened...

At 11:00pm as I had just finished watching Return Of The Jedi to celebrate my last parent free day at home, I switched off the DVD player and the TV returned to a local channel and the streets of Little Havana look like the Heat have won the NBA Championship again, but only the Cuban fans are celebrating. The overlay at the bottom just says "Fidel has surgery". Later it changes to "Fidel hands over power..."

This is big news. This is amazing. I better go to the channel where they handle big news all the time. CNN. Well not big enough, cause Anderson Cooper has better things to do with his time in the middle east. Good thing I have direct TV here, there's plenty of world renowned news networks where I can get the non-Cuban casting of this event.

Well clearly, the rest of the America would rather watch their ice-cubes freeze then hear about Fidel's career moves. Headline news has Anna Nicole Smith doing STUFF. I had to goto Fox News, but even there I found O'riley being his usual bitchy self talking about the middle east. Oh well back to the local news channel.

So the streets of Little Havana are officially bananas. Everyone speculates that Fidel is about to die or already has. Well at least somebody is covering this event. Then one of the "journalists" makes a comment that they admire people who get in rinky-dink rafts and try to make it to America. And while I somewhat agree this is the main reason why I was trying to get news coverage from CNN. If I wanted somebody's opinion, I'd well, read a blog, or at least get it from some random Cuban-American on the side of the street, not from an "un-biased" journalist!

So stay tuned, unless you don't live in south Florida. Then you're stuck with Anna Nicole...

*Comentarios por favor?

"Run & Hit" L-Cut Style

Yesterday on my way to the encounter with the Gold Teeth Teen Girls I saw a kid get hit by a car. Sorta...

I was driving west on Pines Blvd in Pembroke Pines, FL ( home to the most dangerous intersection in the state! - but not this one) when I got to the intersection of Pines Blvd and University Drive. As usual this summer I was jamming to The Jacksons - Triumph and in a good mood since my parents went to Jamaica for the weekend. I pull up to a red light behind a few cars. Here's where my Law & Order Witness skills get fuzzy.

I can't remember if the turn light for west bound traffic turning south was green or had just turned green. What I do remember is the chubby early-teen Spanish kid with CDs in his hands who needed to cross Pines Blvd faster then Dave Chapelle needs crazy pills.

The kid races across the street since he figures like I do that east/west traffic on Pines is about to get a green light. Here's where the L-Cut happens. The L-Cut is an audio term used in music and film business. I'll give you the Adobe Premier Elements definition.

The L-Cut is used most effectively if the sound effects or dialog of the previous clip would have a dramatic or comical impact on the next clip. For example, if a pile of dishes is about to fall to the ground at the end of scene A, perhaps the sound of the dishes actually crashing to the ground may be more comical in the background as you cut to the downstairs neighbor reading the Sunday paper.

Do you get it? I don't mean to imply that kids getting kit by cars is a comical event, that's just a description.

Why all this L-Cut stuff then? Well while the kid is halfway across the street I look over to my left and see the cars in BOTH turn lanes are well, turning. I think, this kid is gonna be stuck in the middle of the street cause he's going to have to stop when he gets to the turn lanes... Now the L-Cut again? Well there's a large white Chevy Astro Van blocking my view of the future events.

Moments later I see all the cars in the turn lanes suddenly stop and I already know what up. I use my context clues pretty well, like people from the nearby Hooters running in the direction of the "incident", etc.

My light turns green and we push off slow enough for everyone who has more important things to worry about to get a look at the result. My imagination is running wild on what happened to this kid until I finally get into the intersection. He's sitting on the median, one of his shoes is sitting under the car. I couldn't see any blood, so that's always good right? But his poor CDs didn't make it, they're scattered all over the street, beyond the help of any scratch repair kit.

As I drive further down Pines I look in my rear view mirror and see the kid has moved from sitting on the median to laying sprawled out on the median apparently more injured then meets the eye of a non-medical professional. That's one of those times when I wish I was a doctor and not an engineer. Then I could do something extra meaningful. I won't be saving to many lives by making your factory more efficient. Oh well. That was my most significant event of the day, until I went to play basketball...

Gold Teeth Teen Girls!

Don't you like my orange lines under the post title? Slowly but surely sprucing up this blog with the magic of CSS, hopefully I can use it to redo the ZK website. Anywho, a special Friday edition of CJSAME (come on, use your head...)

GOLD TEETH TEEN GIRLS!

After "Run & Hit" (I'll post that tomorrow) I decided to use my last 3 weeks before school starts and pretend to get in some form of shape. I drove to the park to shoot around before it started to rain. Walking to the court I noticed a black family picnicking by the bike rack. Yes, I'm at CB Smith Park in Florida, home to lakes and trees and tons of picnic tables by the water, and these people set up shop by the bike racks... Now they did look like they just got out of the pool which is near by so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt on that one.

While passing them, this "lady" asks if she can hoop with me. Sure... She's got a number 1 or a low boy haircut, and noooo front teeth ( as in no upper incisors ) and a limp. She claims she was in a car accident so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt...

We shoot around a while and she tells of her days in her youth ( she could be between 35 and 40ish but I guess the hood is a rough place so she looks well past 40 ) when she could play ball and her nieces,kids,younger female relatives come up. These little girls can hoop! They can't be any older then 6th or 7th grade, but they both had gold fronts in their mouths. At least I hope they were fronts!

Come one! Seriously! These girls are in middle school! But while I've been giving this family the benefit of the doubt the entire time, my 12th Grade AP Psycho skills shake off the cobwebs and come alive. Especially whenever the girls make a shot and the old lady shouts "good shot nigga!" These girls are in middle school!

I may sound high and mighty since I use the "N" Word all the time too but I've always agreed with Bill Cosby's comments about the black race of today. Thank GOD I'm Jamaican... (that's another argument for another day) We're clearly doing something wrong if you can call your middle school nieces "ballin' niggas" and not have the angel on you shoulder give you a Rick James slap over the head. I could just say that's just that family, but there's millions of black families just like that, identifying their kids as little niggers the minute they pop out the womb.

Like I said before, I too use this versatile word. But I'm a firm believer of context and subject. When you're with your boys, ok fine. At work, not so fine. Rapping the words to your favorite rap song (which will have the "N" word @least once) around grown folk fine, rapping the words to your favorite rap song with your kids, not fine. It just makes sense to me. Does it make sense to you?

*Comments Niggas!
*Just Kidding....


PS: How Gay (no offense if you're gay you dam rainbow stealers!) is the spell check here at blogger that happens to be owned by Google now. Why do the words blog and google come up as misspelled?

Today's Fresh Finds....

Nothing to ramble on today, but I did run into some fresh stuff. You have to check out The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. If you follow computer current events then this will be the funniest blog (next to this one) that you'll ever find (today).

Pressing next blog at the top, I have found some real boring blogs, a ton of blogs in another language, too many fake blogs made just to take advantage of google adsense, and then there's some real unique finds. It let me to the above blog written by "Steve Jobs" and I also found this great picture from The House of Prayer and Refuge. I have no idea if this is real or photoshoped, but either way, it's funny! I only wish I had saved the actual blog I found it on. Oh well, you live and you learn.

*Comments?

The GAYS Stole All The Rainbows

I've been planning to post this for a while, but then NewsGator sent me this article about Lance Bass and I had to go ahead and finish my thought. It's funny how the "gayest" member of NSYNC is actually gay. It's ironic how things play out like they do. If only Chingy would go ahead and make it official.

But what does this have to do with the title of this post? I was just thinkin, remember when you were a kid in Sunday school and all the pictures of Jesus in the coloring books had rainbows all around. God even used a rainbow to tell Noah the coast was clear (no pun intended, or maybe....)

On the flip side there's the whole rainbow, pot-of-gold, leprechaun trifecta. Who didn't color a rainbow and a leprechaun in 3rd grade for St. Patricks Day? So how did rainbow colors become synonymous with gay people? I blame skittles!

Seriously, for future arguments or future game show appearances, I'd like to know. Google only tells me the who, what, and where, but why? Why a rainbow? Why not a zebra, or a chocolate cake, or even a three headed Cyclops? Somebody should know.

PS: Shout outs to all gay people I know, you know it's all in jest right?

*Comments?

Smooth Criminal... The Movie?!

Today I saw an article about a planned movie about Michael Jackson called Smooth Criminal: The Michael Jackson Story. I'm not really feeling the title though. But wait! Didn't they make a MJ Movie for VH1? Yes they did, but it was so ghetto and low budget you'd think it was secretly made by BET. I always thought, if only they made a MJ Movie with the same quality as the Ray Charles movie. Well I need to renew my Ms. Cleo Card cause the guy who directed Ray is set to direct this movie too.

I might as well take this opportunity to ramble on about some Jackson related stuff. I've been listening to a lot of The Jacksons (that's the name of the Jackson 5 after they left Motown) stuff lately. Especially on my two recent back to back trips to Gainesville. If you ever get a chance to buy, borrow, or *cough* download *cough* the album Triumph, you'll be in for some classic 80's ish funk, way before MJ went crazy.

Yes, I Dwayne Mills, loyal MJ Fan, admit that Michael Jackson is crazy. I think it all happened when he moved into The Neverland Ranch. It's like all the smart kids in high school who go away to college and end up flunking out cause they don't know how to handle themselves on their own. However, that didn't stop me from creating a crazy thriller picture for my facebook.

BTW, as you can see, every couple of weeks I make an interesting facebook picture. Partly cause it's good practice for learning how to do crazy things with photoshop, and partly because it's fun. It fun reading my wall after I put the picture up. Most of the posts now are about how cool the picture is, instead of "Dwayne, stop wasting your time, etc". I plan to put up more of my creations in future blogs and if you have an idea, ask me, I love a challenge.

*Don't forget to leave a comment!

The Blogs Have Ears

As I begin my journey into blog'hood I'm realizing a couple things. Since there's a link to this blog on my facebook and AIM profile, I'm going to have to administer some levels of discretion in these posts. Yes, I'm a proponent of the 1st amendment and being able to say whatever you want but there may be things I'd like to say that I wouldn't want anybody who knows me personally to see. Here's an extreme fictional example...

HAVE SEX WITH DONKEYS

Now as much as the random internet browser would love to read a post on the joys of hot donkey love, my friends and family would be appalled, yet strangely not surprised that I would ever make a statement like that.

So I have decided to moderate my blog thoughts so that random readers will find it interesting enough, and I won't get punched in the mouth by people who know me. Will people get offended? Sure. That'd be great. I'd rather get an emotional response such as laugher or anger instead of just pure apathy from these posts.

In the meantime I'm gonna spruce this blog up, make it look "more snazzy". Don't forget to leave a comment.

Sour Gummy Razors...Yummy!

I'm trying to get used to this whole blog thing. I've been reading random blogs, checking things out even though I'm supposed to be moving out of my apartment. What luck I have with random blog searching to I find my ex-girlfriend's blog! This is extra special because this girl has avoided me all summer like I was giving away bird flu chicken samples at the mall in the food court. She called me right when the summer started to have lunch, but I was in Fort Lauderdale. After that, neither phone, nor IM, nor text message has arrived. I did get a "thanks" reply on her birthday...

Now I know I should be moving, every second the sun draws closer to the horizon is 1 less second I can move into my storage unit ( IN ALACHAU THE CITY BTW! 15 MILES FROM GAINESVILLE!!) that has no working light bulb. They're lucky I'm desperate. Anyway, yeah, the ex-girlfriend blog. Let me list the ways I'm a real loser...

1. I searched for my name and it only came once even though I knew it was in there plenty of times.
2. I read every single blog entry looking for references about me.
3. I'm supposed to be moving remember!
4. This has to count as being some kind of stalker, at least in the southern states

It was interesting to relive a lot of events in my life from her eyes. Things like our anniversaries and me coming out as a sigma, even stuff like our "escapades"... Ah yeah, good times, well on my end at least. Let her tell it, you'd think I had her psychologically imprisoned thanks to my training from Dr. Phil.

Unfortunately our downfalls didn't get any real detailed posts of their own. I can understand that. If you are ever so fortunate to guess my Open Diary name, you'd see a sad telling of events worse then when E.T. died (you know cried when E.T. died, hey I was just born so I can't remember)

What strikes me the most are the numerous "I'm so lucky to have him" type of posts. Next week after I get home from my internship (FPL is a great place to work BTW) and finish my next facebook picture creation, I will present a post titled

Why All Women are Born Crazy
Volume I

This will be a multi-volume essay hence the Greek numbers.

On a side note, why is it that when women have your full attention they have nothing to say, but then when you don't have time to listen to them again they get mad at you?

• Please note, the italicized words are used should be replaced with more adult terms... We're all adults here right?

-Still looking for the Future Mrs Fozzie but hopefully GOD's got a dime waiting for me somewhere. *Please leave a comment.

In The Beginning There Was OD

Or "Open Diary", a place for me to rant and rave in a comical manner about life. Somewhere around 11th grade, I began using Open Diary before I even heard of the word blog. It was fun and anonymous. I could say anything and nooobody would know who I was talking about. But like all fads in my life, I just stopped using it. Sure every few years there would be a "Open Diary revival", but after freshmen year at UF, I just couldn't get back into it ( though freshmen year produced some of the funniest entries I have ever written)

Through out my life on the internet one thing has been constant, AOL Instant messenger. I noticed people were using their "profile" space for anything and everything except for a profile. Thus Thoughts Of The moment
was born. Millions have been entertained by my witty yet sophisticated "thoughts" listed here.

Well it's 2006 and I finally realized some drawbacks to using AIM as a fake blog. Your blog is only viewable to the public when you're online. AIM also has character limits so some very classic blog entries had to be erased to make way for newer material. That's when I broke down and signed up with blogger. The rest, hopefully, is history.

So, if you know me in person or have ever read my AIM Profile, then you should be celebrating! If you ended up reading this because you clicked RANDOM BLOG on the blogger homepage, then you've stumbled onto a real gem.

Therein is my introduction and if I wasn't currently moving out my apartment I would begin entertaining you immediately, but I live on the 3rd floor and my storage unit is 15 miles away...

-Please leave a comment.