American Idol: Losers Bracket

I feel like Seinfeld but...What's the deal with all these talent shows on TV? I thought you had to have talent to be in a talent show. Maybe not the one you did in 11th grade, but I believe you should be able to sing (if singing is your act) to make it on to a nationally televised talent contest!

My beef is really with ABC's "The One"(which was so crappy it got canceled and I didn't even know). I've been an ABC man every since my mom was watching All My Children with me in the womb. Hell, I even watched and taped "The Mole!". But this show and other talent shows are appalling. Like I said in my AIM profile, I know I can sing better then 95% of the people on these shows even if I had:

• strepp throat
• a cold
• a surgical mask on
  
• novacane injections
• bit my tongue

That's how bad I think these guys are. Something about singing live... They sound good in the little pre-recorded interviews, but they get on stage and it's like Speech Disorder Karaoke. Yeah I know, I haven't done any professional singing since the 5th grade play (Winter Wouldn't Wait: a stunning drama about animals in the forrest) and then there's Black Male Extravaganza a few years ago, but my shower singing has improved immensly since then and I'm sure I could out sing some of these scrubs.

To a lesser degree "America's Got Talent" is almost as bad. The one thing they got going for them is not all the acts are singing, but the ones that are singing (which all seem to be 12-13yr old girls) are horrible. Like they just practiced at home singing into a pretend mic looking at the mirror while playing a Brittany Spears cd! And don't get me started on RAPPING GRANNY!

On second thought, what do I know? I can barely get right for Caribbean Idol Night, how am I gonna sing on stage in front of millions of people? Maybe if I wear a mask....

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