School Uniforms Are For Losers... And Rich People

A COMAP and a long list of legit projects to do in Photoshop are holding me back from my blog creativity. Oh well, it's not like I'm getting paid for this nonsense...yet. I was going to make this my only post for today, but then a crazy lady with a screwdriver and some Vaseline had to get on a plane bound for New York(as reported by Foz News, but the CNN article says otherwise) But first...

The topic of today's (which is really what I wanted to write about from Monday) is the exciting world of school uniforms. Now I haven't worn a uniform to school since Pre-School, so I was trying to look at their purpose from a "school board" point of view.

But why do I give a @$#@ about school uniforms anyway? Monday was the first day of school in Dade County and my leisurely drive to work (until I get on Lejuene Road) took a backseat to school zones and flashing yellow lights. Driving at speeds measured in microns through one particular school zone in Carol City, FL I noticed two things.

1. All the kids are wearing practically the same combination of colors
2. Though the colors are the same, the styles and quality of the clothing items are vastly different. It's like one kid wearing LaCoste orange polo and another kid in the orange Arab (that's black people speak for a plain undershirt) So obviously this school has a "uniform policy", a term that I use loosely.

But first in true Fozzie fashion, I had to do my research.

Studies show that Uniforms work, but only initially. After the new car smell goes away, the bad kids get back to f'ing up the good ones, but at least everybody is getting their ass beat in style... in the upper middle class neighborhoods at least. This article which quotes another article says

"The drastic decline uniform supporters had envisioned did not occur" (1).
Alarmingly, in middle schools, where uniforms were mandatory, fights nearly
doubled over a four-year period from 186 in 1996-97 to 284 in 1997-98. The
district administrators attempted to explain away this startling fact by
pointing out that fights increased at non-uniform schools as well from 152 to
201 over the same period (1).

To be honest with you I'm reading this article as I'm writing this blog and I'm amazed at how far some people are from reality.

Supporters further claim that uniforms improve attendance. According to
proponents of these policies, uniforms improve school attitude and spirit which
brings about a net decrease in truancy and absenteeism.

Seriously! I'm the biggest Gator fan in my group of friends but that has nothing to do with me skipping a class and going back to sleep. And though the school I drove by in Dade county clearly has a liberal policy on uniform styles, one principle in Polk County needs to take the gerbil out of his ASS;

A middle school student at Boone Middle School in Haines City was recently
suspended over the color of his sweater. School administrators claimed that the
sweater was black and his mother insisted that it was navy blue, an approved
color. His mother contacted the manufacturer to verify that it was blue. She was
told that the company did not make that particular style in black, so it was
definitely blue. Despite the evidence, her son, an honor student with an
excellent record, was suspended during the week of the Florida Comprehensive
Assessment Tests (F-CATS)

The article is full of Pre-911 references when Americans has way to much time on their hands. Look at this quote about a girl who got in trouble for wearing Capri pants:

The reason the assistant principal gave was that the pants contained 4% spandex.
According to the uniform policy, spandex clothing is forbidden. When the mother
later asked her daughter how the school official had determined the fabric
content of her pants, her daughter informed her that the overzealous
administrator had reached inside of the child’s pants to read the tag.

So what does this have to do with my initial observations driving past that school on the way to work? Well what is the point of a "uniform policy" when all the kids have on different clothes. When I was in middle school, they told us uniforms would stop kids with bad clothes from getting made fun of. Fair enough, only if you're only allowed to buy the uniform from a set group of vendors.

Like I said before, if my "uniform" includes a Lacoste polo and Docker khakis and your "uniform" is a flea market Arab and some brown Dickees (the spelling is not a joke!) then who's going to be made fun of here? Probably the poor kid. Who's going to get mad and start whoopin ass? The poor kid. You see my point here? Either have the policy for real or let everyone where their tall black tees in peace.

*I want name brand comments only!

*You don't have to be a Blogger Member to leave a comment. Click other under "choose an identity" and enter any name , then type in the word verification.