Zoolander 2: Castro's Revenge

Looks like our old buddy Fidel has been strutting his stuff down the runways in Havana's fashion district. As we all know, pictures of Fidel looking fine in his track suit have been published by "state run" newspapers in Cuba "proving" that he's not dead after all. You know what Fidel, using photos to prove something worked all the time, IN 1965!

When I first saw the pictures on the news, I thought "I don't believe it! I could put my face on that very same picture in photoshop and make it look real". But then I thought that was waaaaay too much effort for a non-Cuban to shut-down a conspiracy.

You do have to wonder why there's no video, or especially live video of Fidel. Like I said before, photos don't cut it anymore. I've fooled many people (albeit for 3 seconds) that I really met president Bush with my "HNIC" facebook picture. On a similar note, check out this photoshop contest at worth 1000 called Where is Fidel ? I personally like the one where Fidel is about to go down Splash Mountain.

Thirdly. Cuba is lucky (or I guess un-lucky depending on how you look at it) they don't have any oil. Though we all thought Iraq was going to put the 51st star on the flag, Cuba has a good shot to win the race. It's only 90miles away! Instead of using National Guard (which is doing more guarding of the 51st state #2 then the other 50) we can just use Miami-Dade police. With Fidel relegated to pretend photo-shoots, the place is ripe for the taking.

Yeah there's the whole Raul thing too but if we beat the British, the French, the Germans, the Italians, the Russians, the Mexicans, the Africans (literally), the Japanese, the Australians (in 2034), then we can handle Raul!

And for a bonus for reading all of that foolishness, check out the 16 Ways The CIA Wanted To Kill Castro. See, we had plans, can't we just Vista them up a little bit. Or maybe this time use a Mac. Either way, I won't tell if you don't tell.

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