Help Keep Janet off Drugs

Today I found the most shocking article I've seen in a while, or a week, but shocking non the less. According to Janet Jackson, Jermaine Dupri is the best lover she ever had! Did you also hear a pig flew into a powerline in Miami and caused a power outage. That then caused all the Ice Cream they were serving in hell to finally melt. Janet told Essence Magazine

I feel like I finally met my match. In relationships, it was always the guy telling me, 'Okay, hold on, wait a minute

The article then goes on to say how Janet's previous "smash buddies" would make excuses not to have sex with her. Good lord! I know as men, we tend to get tired with old "kit-kat" but come on, this is Janet Jackson, not Janet Reno! Look at this picture! If you're a man and ever in your life say "I got a head-ache" to that, TURN IN YOUR PENIS!

I'm also highly disgusted that Jermaine Dupri can even handle Janet Jackson. It is our nature as men to hate on other brothers who are ugly and got fine girlfriends. Currently Jermaine and Jay-Z are on the top of our "hate, hate, hate" list. We were all laughing when Jermaine and Janet got together. "If he can get her, anybody can...." was the common phrase. Well clearly Jermaine is doing something extraordinary to have Janet "Fine Booty" Jackson all sprung. He's like 100 years old! He was grown when he was with Kris Kross and that was when I was in 3rd grade!

He should write a book. It'd probably sell more then all his albums combined. Just put the *gulp* future Mrs. Dupri on the cover. Honestly, I'd be first in line, but knowing me, I'd just wait a couple months for it at the library. What is his secret? It's not money cause anybody who can sing with Jackson for a last name could probably sell your family back into slavery. What is his secret....?

-#1875 in the queue for "How short ugly dudes get ultra sexy women by Jermaine Dupri"

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