Black Market @ Butler Plaza or Gainesville Mafia?

Whats the deal with all the people driving mini-vans around Butler Plaza in Gainesville with "goods" they got for "free" at work? I was approached about 4 times by 4 different "vendors" trying to sell me a surround sound speaker system they got free from work. Seriously! Free from work! Where the hell do you work where they give away surround sound speakers?

To my knowledge there isn't a Bose factory anywhere near here. And I hardly think Best Buy and Circuit City give away hundred dollar merchandise to their employees for the free.99. Maybe they work at one of those electronic spots on Main Street that from the outside look like they're more suited to fix your transmission then sell you name brand stuff.

I've been watching alot of Sopranos this summer and they hijack cargo trucks all the time. Is there a Gainesville Mafia, dealing in surround sound speakers and entertainment centers! Next they might move up to matching sofa and love seat sets! Goodlord!

*Leave a comment or you'll never hear your speakers again...

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Summer 2006 - The Album

Moving, gator band, and photoshop are keeping me back from laying down some fresh funny blogs. I even freakin have the same facebook picture up for weeks now cause I'm so busy. And the sweatshop..I mean photoshop "orders" keep coming in with same day due dates... Anyway, this list is something I've done every summer. It's basically the "song of the moment" from my aim profile for just about every week of summer. Here's a tip: try to figure out how my week was going by what the song is...

01. Summertime - Will Smith
02. Working Day & Night - Michael Jackson
03. Back In The Day - Young MC
04. Bling Bling - B.G.
05. We Are The Champions - Queen
06. Shake Your Body - The Jacksons
07. Computer Games - Yellow Magic Orchestra
08. Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake
09. Dutty Wine - Tony Matterhorn
10. Everybody - The Jacksons
11. Give Me A Try - Sizzla
12. Like Me Real Hard - Mario

*Bonus Track - Leave a comment

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Now Drop Now Drop Now Drop Now Drop & Pray

Have you heard the Kirk Franklin remix for "Looking For Your". If you can find a link to where we can hear it on the internet please let me know. Anyway, this is clearly the worst case of being surrounded by Yes Men since the guys who keep letting the Wayans brothers make movies!

Looking For You done with the Fat Man Scoop song "Drop" beat... Thats it. I don't even have to say anything. I have no joke to make, this remix does all the work for me. It isn't even mixed right. They slowed down the speed of the lyrics to match the beat so now it sounds all out of key and then they made Kirk Franklin sound off key.

This is also a case of trying too hard to make gospel sound mainstream. It reminds me of when Kirk Franklin's Stomp came out. I was in Walmart and two black ladies were saying how Stomp was not gospel enough. If I could see those two women now. They probably think Stomp is like Handel's Messiah compared to this remix...

*Leave a comment, but leave the remixes to P. Diddy

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I Only Dance With Girls!

Just came back from the club and while I'm sending out these two 10mb email flyers I had to jot down a few thoughts on girls who goto the club and only dance with their girlfriends..

This is a public service announcment... If you're a girl and plan to only dance with your girls please abide by the following rules.

1. Do not dance in the middle of the dance floor and expect noone to try and dance with you.
2. Do not make repeated eye contact with a guy and/or smile at a guy and then act crazy when they try and dance with you
3. Do not "back it up", "drop it likes it's hot", or "make it clap" against the wall and be surprised when a guy wants a repeat performance on his own pelvic region
4. If your girl does start dancing with a man, do not get jealous and pull her away from him.
   

Follow these simple rules and we will all be better off in the future.

*I don't need to see your face to leave a comment!

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Photoshop = Sweatshop

When I first started messing around with Photoshop I thought it would be cool when I got good enough for people to ask me to make flyers for them. Damn my vain'ness. Making flyers is actually fun, especially when you do finish and see the flyer in full color print. But when you have to do 4 photoshop projects in 3 days, you start to get well, miserable.

I should just tell these people that I already have enough things to do with my limited time after work. But I have a "can't say no" syndome when it comes to things that I can do on the computer. This all includes photoshop, web design, and audio mixing. Damn my talented technological brain!

But Fozzie, I thought you enjoyed making funny pictures? Look at your facebook albums! - Well yes that's true, but lately I've spent no more then an hour doing those wacky pictures. Largely because they don't need to look real. They look "real enough" that someone can see the Thriller Cover and almost imagine I was really on it. (Only my meeting with Bush had to look real because it was my first time using photoshop and I wanted to push the envelope of what I could do).

Flyers and web sites... I might as well make t-shirts for Kathy Lee Gifford somewhere in Malaysia! Though I have yet to "sign" my flyers (maybe I should) it's easy to tell someone, Hey I made this, when the flyer looks nice. I'd rather not attach my name to crappy work.

With that mindset, I try to make the flyers look as professional as I can given my current skill level. All that attention takes time. Especially with revisions and printer requests, flyers take alot of time. Blue & White Weekend alone ( though that's not the average flyer ) coupled with my internship took days to finish.

Many of the Blue & White Weekend flyers were created before I started working. Then it's fun. Those flyers went like this...
Eat Breakfast - Work on Flyer - Watch People's Court - Work On Flyer- Eat Lunch - Work on Flyer- Watch the Simpsons - Work On Flyer - Play Madden - Work On Flyer - Dinner - Work on Flyer - Goto Sleep. Plenty of "work on flyer" time.

Now with my internship...
Eat Breakfast - WOOOORK- WOOOOORK -WOOOOOOORK - Eat Lunch -WOOOORK - WOOOOORK - Eat Dinner - Work on Flyer. Notice the difference? We're not even gonna get into web sites which I also use photoshop to begin the site's graphical side.

So if you see me looking very grumpy, don't worry it's not you, it's those flyers, giving me the skills I need to work in the sweat shops of tomorrow... or today! I hear Shaq has a shoe deal in china...

*For only $6 a day you can sponor a comment to leave.

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School Uniforms Are For Losers... And Rich People

A COMAP and a long list of legit projects to do in Photoshop are holding me back from my blog creativity. Oh well, it's not like I'm getting paid for this nonsense...yet. I was going to make this my only post for today, but then a crazy lady with a screwdriver and some Vaseline had to get on a plane bound for New York(as reported by Foz News, but the CNN article says otherwise) But first...

The topic of today's (which is really what I wanted to write about from Monday) is the exciting world of school uniforms. Now I haven't worn a uniform to school since Pre-School, so I was trying to look at their purpose from a "school board" point of view.

But why do I give a @$#@ about school uniforms anyway? Monday was the first day of school in Dade County and my leisurely drive to work (until I get on Lejuene Road) took a backseat to school zones and flashing yellow lights. Driving at speeds measured in microns through one particular school zone in Carol City, FL I noticed two things.

1. All the kids are wearing practically the same combination of colors
2. Though the colors are the same, the styles and quality of the clothing items are vastly different. It's like one kid wearing LaCoste orange polo and another kid in the orange Arab (that's black people speak for a plain undershirt) So obviously this school has a "uniform policy", a term that I use loosely.

But first in true Fozzie fashion, I had to do my research.

Studies show that Uniforms work, but only initially. After the new car smell goes away, the bad kids get back to f'ing up the good ones, but at least everybody is getting their ass beat in style... in the upper middle class neighborhoods at least. This article which quotes another article says

"The drastic decline uniform supporters had envisioned did not occur" (1).
Alarmingly, in middle schools, where uniforms were mandatory, fights nearly
doubled over a four-year period from 186 in 1996-97 to 284 in 1997-98. The
district administrators attempted to explain away this startling fact by
pointing out that fights increased at non-uniform schools as well from 152 to
201 over the same period (1).

To be honest with you I'm reading this article as I'm writing this blog and I'm amazed at how far some people are from reality.

Supporters further claim that uniforms improve attendance. According to
proponents of these policies, uniforms improve school attitude and spirit which
brings about a net decrease in truancy and absenteeism.

Seriously! I'm the biggest Gator fan in my group of friends but that has nothing to do with me skipping a class and going back to sleep. And though the school I drove by in Dade county clearly has a liberal policy on uniform styles, one principle in Polk County needs to take the gerbil out of his ASS;

A middle school student at Boone Middle School in Haines City was recently
suspended over the color of his sweater. School administrators claimed that the
sweater was black and his mother insisted that it was navy blue, an approved
color. His mother contacted the manufacturer to verify that it was blue. She was
told that the company did not make that particular style in black, so it was
definitely blue. Despite the evidence, her son, an honor student with an
excellent record, was suspended during the week of the Florida Comprehensive
Assessment Tests (F-CATS)

The article is full of Pre-911 references when Americans has way to much time on their hands. Look at this quote about a girl who got in trouble for wearing Capri pants:

The reason the assistant principal gave was that the pants contained 4% spandex.
According to the uniform policy, spandex clothing is forbidden. When the mother
later asked her daughter how the school official had determined the fabric
content of her pants, her daughter informed her that the overzealous
administrator had reached inside of the child’s pants to read the tag.

So what does this have to do with my initial observations driving past that school on the way to work? Well what is the point of a "uniform policy" when all the kids have on different clothes. When I was in middle school, they told us uniforms would stop kids with bad clothes from getting made fun of. Fair enough, only if you're only allowed to buy the uniform from a set group of vendors.

Like I said before, if my "uniform" includes a Lacoste polo and Docker khakis and your "uniform" is a flea market Arab and some brown Dickees (the spelling is not a joke!) then who's going to be made fun of here? Probably the poor kid. Who's going to get mad and start whoopin ass? The poor kid. You see my point here? Either have the policy for real or let everyone where their tall black tees in peace.

*I want name brand comments only!

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Zoolander 2: Castro's Revenge

Looks like our old buddy Fidel has been strutting his stuff down the runways in Havana's fashion district. As we all know, pictures of Fidel looking fine in his track suit have been published by "state run" newspapers in Cuba "proving" that he's not dead after all. You know what Fidel, using photos to prove something worked all the time, IN 1965!

When I first saw the pictures on the news, I thought "I don't believe it! I could put my face on that very same picture in photoshop and make it look real". But then I thought that was waaaaay too much effort for a non-Cuban to shut-down a conspiracy.

You do have to wonder why there's no video, or especially live video of Fidel. Like I said before, photos don't cut it anymore. I've fooled many people (albeit for 3 seconds) that I really met president Bush with my "HNIC" facebook picture. On a similar note, check out this photoshop contest at worth 1000 called Where is Fidel ? I personally like the one where Fidel is about to go down Splash Mountain.

Thirdly. Cuba is lucky (or I guess un-lucky depending on how you look at it) they don't have any oil. Though we all thought Iraq was going to put the 51st star on the flag, Cuba has a good shot to win the race. It's only 90miles away! Instead of using National Guard (which is doing more guarding of the 51st state #2 then the other 50) we can just use Miami-Dade police. With Fidel relegated to pretend photo-shoots, the place is ripe for the taking.

Yeah there's the whole Raul thing too but if we beat the British, the French, the Germans, the Italians, the Russians, the Mexicans, the Africans (literally), the Japanese, the Australians (in 2034), then we can handle Raul!

And for a bonus for reading all of that foolishness, check out the 16 Ways The CIA Wanted To Kill Castro. See, we had plans, can't we just Vista them up a little bit. Or maybe this time use a Mac. Either way, I won't tell if you don't tell.

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Jesus Smith = Muhammad Ackbar?

I was watching the news this morning (5:30am!) and they were talking about the guys who had planned to blowup the planes in mid-air. I'm not gonna bore you with comments on that whole situation cause that's CNN and *gasp* Fox News' job.

This post is about the single sentence she made when discussing the characteristics of the terrorists. Now I don't blame her, she's just a face reading a script, so my finger pointing are aimed at the station writers. She "reported" that the alleged terrorists were mostly British citizens or residents, had ties to Pakistan, and call the PC Police - all had Muslim names!

If I was Muslim I'd be unnerved that my religion has officially gained the stereotype of Terrorist. I'm sure they yearn for the good ole days when people simply ignorantly lumped them up with Indians behind the register at convenience stores saying things like "Thank you, come again" or "Slim Jim good for you, slurpee red or blue"

But the real issue here is the term "Muslim Names". Believe or not there are people who believe in Santa Clause or spin a dreidle for 8 nights who live in the middle east. Kwanza... Probably not, but the point is that people who live in the middle east aren't classified as Muslim, they're middle eastern!

Unless your name is Martin Luther or John Paul, there is no such thing as a Christian name. I've heard that term thrown around before but Christianity cannot be claimed soley by any of the Latin based languages in the world.

But back to this lady's statement. Would be worse if she had said all the terrorists had "black people names"? There's no such thing officially as a black person name, but I know enough LaQuishas to make a case for an official classification. What about white people names (which I have and dammit all my kids are gonna have too!)? Is that an English name or a white people name? Maybe congress should argue about the separation of church and name?


*Leave your name (the religious one) and a comment
*I also realize "white people name" is bad English, or is it bad religion?


*You don't have to be a Blogger Member to leave a comment. Click other under "choose an identity" and enter any name , then type in the word verification.

I Betcha Think This Blog Is About You

Last night while conducting an interview for my upcoming thesis "Why All Women Are Crazy" I got a very strong "don't put me in your blog again!". I suddenly started hearing the chorus to the Janet Jackson song "Son of a Gun ( I betcha think this song is about you )" with the obvoious word changed.

These leads to the question, Can we blog about people we know personally? And if you can, Do they have the right to have those posts removed? Time to roll up the pretend Law & Order skills.

The Blogger Legal FAQ for Students had a few interesting points to consider. This quote comes from the section about students blogging about one of their teachers.

Merely criticizing or insulting schoolteachers and administrators, even with vulgar language, likely will not amount to the "material disruption" required by the Supreme Court...although your opinions are protected by the First Amendment, publishing defamatory content —even jokingly—may get you in trouble at school, and maybe even get you sued.

So lets give this a little real world spin. Lets say on a future blog post I say "Mrs Jane Doe is a crazy psycho Biotch!" To qualify for defamation or in this case libel (since it would be written defamation) I would have to have written that sentence as a statement of fact and not my opionion. I doubt Mrs Jane Doe thinks she is a biotch, or maybe she does admit she is a biotch but not a crazy psycho one, just a Nights and Weekend Biotch (starting at 7 if she has Sprint) but either way, how do you prove that someone is a biotch?

For defamation to work the statement of fact has to be verifiable. The Faq on Defamation had this to say...

A statement that the plaintiff is a "Dumb Ass," even first among "Dumb Asses," communicates no factual proposition susceptible of proof or refutation.

So let us again use Mrs Jane Doe as our test subject. Lets assume Mrs. Jane Doe took my suggestion in The Blogs Have Ears and is considering having sex with donkeys. If I say on a future post that "Mrs. Jane Doe wants to have sex with donkeys", there's no way to prove that she was infact thinking about it. The only remote way would be admit to it, and then the statement of fact would be infact, true.

Finally, anyone with atleast two neurons connected would make it hard for people to figure out who Mrs. Jane Doe really is.

To state a defamation claim, the person claiming defamation need not be mentioned by name — the plaintiff only needs to be reasonably identifiable. So if you defame the "government executive who makes his home at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue," it is still reasonably identifiable as the president.

So Mrs. Jane Doe could be really be anybody! It could even be a dude, a car, or even a goldfish. Ahh isn't the internet wonderful. Now I could be totally wrong so any Law oriented individual, please let me know if i'm on the right path here.

*The truth can set "Leave a comment" free!

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American Idol: Losers Bracket

I feel like Seinfeld but...What's the deal with all these talent shows on TV? I thought you had to have talent to be in a talent show. Maybe not the one you did in 11th grade, but I believe you should be able to sing (if singing is your act) to make it on to a nationally televised talent contest!

My beef is really with ABC's "The One"(which was so crappy it got canceled and I didn't even know). I've been an ABC man every since my mom was watching All My Children with me in the womb. Hell, I even watched and taped "The Mole!". But this show and other talent shows are appalling. Like I said in my AIM profile, I know I can sing better then 95% of the people on these shows even if I had:

• strepp throat
• a cold
• a surgical mask on
  
• novacane injections
• bit my tongue

That's how bad I think these guys are. Something about singing live... They sound good in the little pre-recorded interviews, but they get on stage and it's like Speech Disorder Karaoke. Yeah I know, I haven't done any professional singing since the 5th grade play (Winter Wouldn't Wait: a stunning drama about animals in the forrest) and then there's Black Male Extravaganza a few years ago, but my shower singing has improved immensly since then and I'm sure I could out sing some of these scrubs.

To a lesser degree "America's Got Talent" is almost as bad. The one thing they got going for them is not all the acts are singing, but the ones that are singing (which all seem to be 12-13yr old girls) are horrible. Like they just practiced at home singing into a pretend mic looking at the mirror while playing a Brittany Spears cd! And don't get me started on RAPPING GRANNY!

On second thought, what do I know? I can barely get right for Caribbean Idol Night, how am I gonna sing on stage in front of millions of people? Maybe if I wear a mask....

*DO RE ME FA SO LA TI LEAVE_A_COMMENT'O



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Love is Madness

Randomly bouncing around through facebook I found that one of my ole clubbin buddies from my first two years at college is getting married to which I said outloud "Love Is Madness!" Not because he shouldn't be getting married, but because suddenly its like everyone is getting engaged right now.

I suppose since almost everyone in my peer group at UF has graduated. Those who were in relationships prior to that are moving on to that next step in life and that includes MARRIAGE (insert thunder and lightning.)

Hey don't get me wrong, I want to get married one day too, raise a family, have 5 of my kids form a music group, and buy a boat. Or I could go the other way and take advice from the Bulletproof Pimp and just be a bachelor forever. Now that man knows his stuff. Well what would I know? I'm technically one of those "Extreme Cakers" who is most comfortable being in a relationship rather then just doing "random play" as facebook calls it.

Both lifestyles are very compelling. Technically, you don't need to be married to have kids anyway. Right?

*I now pronounce you Leave A Comment & Wife

*Some of you have been deterred from leaving a comment because you think you have to be a blogger member and have a password. Not so! Enter your comment in the box, then click other under "choose an identity" and enter any name you want, then type in the word verification so I know you're not just trying to spam me. That's it.

Leaving Comments For Dummies

Some of you have been detered from leaving a comment because you think you have to be a blogger member and have a password. Now so! Enter your comment and the box, then click other under "choose and identity" and enter any name you want, then type in the word verification so I know you're not just trying to spam me. Thats it.

Our Father Who Art A Jedi...

I'm a big Star Wars fan, but this is ridiculous. I found an article online that says there are people who actually list Jedi as their official religion in the Australia census. I also saw in another article that more people in London listed their religion as Jedi then Jewish people in the last census! Man, if you ever wanted to know the exact time to invest in crazy pills, now would be a good time.

What kid who watched Star Wars as a kid didn't think he had Force powers, as a kid? The keyword here is AS A KID! Grown people around the world are trying to get Jedi to become an official religion of the world. I'm sure there are a million other established religions that fit the bill.

I wish I had that other article link! It also said some eastern Europe guy opened a school to train jedi and learn to make lightsabers. Lightsabers!!! If NASA and the US Armed Forces haven't figured out how to make lightsabers (or maybe they have, and then they hit us with that MIB memory wipe...), how will some guy with way to much time and or money on his hands going to figure it out?

Something tells me those who mark "Jedi" as their official religion probably also have no chance of having offspring, and thus, they will die out sooner or later.

*May the comments be with you

Mr. D Has Pitty For You, FOOL

Just had to share with you my latest facebook picture. Like MJ himself I was asking myself how do I top Thriller. Well you shouldn't compete with yourself or you'll go crazy (like dangle your baby over a balcony crazy) so I said F it, let me just have fun. I saw a mix between Sammy Davis Junior and Mr. T on worth1000 and I said AHA!

I present Mr. D, the D stands for Dollar Bill, but I just realized it can stand for Dwayne too.

This picture was good practice. I'm starting to learn how to use the curves tool and I touched up some of the color on my original face with it. I also learned how to add a shadow to my face so it sorta matches the lighting in the original mr t photo.

*I pitty the fool who doesn't leave a comment!

Ask A Ninja

What a slow saturday, but that's how every saturday should be right. But it's also Jamaican Independence Day and I'm stuck at home...

Today I just wanted to share one of the funniest series of videos I have ever seen called Ask A Ninja. The concept of video blogs is still new, but I'm thinkin, hey, why type a joke when you can "broadcast"... Anyway. Check out the Ask a Ninja website or search for it on Youtube. I also linked to a funny one about ninja midgets so you have a basic idea about ninja comedy.

*Comments? Ninja Please!

MAD MAX Part 4: LeJeune Road

I almost succumbed to another COMAP, but I managed to shed the shackles of my bed and get active, it's Friday night for Pete's Sake! Anyway...

MAD MAX 4: LeJEUNE ROAD

As my internship gets closer to my last day, I had to donate a post to the ever treacherous journey I take to get to work everyday. I briefly alluded to this experience in my AIM profile, but now I get to fully explain the peril of driving on LeJUNE ROAD aka 42nd Ave. Check out the image to see my personal Axis of Evil.

Thanks to mapquest I can tell you my life is only in extreme danger for 8.6 miles of my 17 mile trek to work twice a day of course, but more often in the morning. To be clear, the actual structure of the road is pretty sound for a street in Dade County. 99% of my "life flashing before my eyes" experiences driving to work have all come from the other cars on the road.

It's like I drive through a worm-hole when I pass Opa Locka airport and the Gratigny. The minute 37th Ave merges into 42nd Ave aka Highway to Hell aka LeJeune Road, it all goes downhill. Right at that particular longitude and latitude, all the rules you had to fake when you first got your driver's license go out the window. Way out the window.

If you've never driven in Miami, then you'll never understand the Daytona 500 likeness of drivers down here. Not so much in terms of speeding. One particular stretch of Lejeune has light practically every 300 yards. Well it feels like it. The real issue here is the NASCAR style lane changing that goes on about every 30 seconds. You know people only watch NASCAR to see the crashes. We'll if all those "professional" drivers practiced on LeJeune road, they'd never ever ever crash their racecars.

Another important factor in causing my "spidey sense" to spike repeatedly on the way to work is that this is south Florida and there's a large number of "older" drivers on the road. Add to that the fact that it's Miami-Dade "1 Lane, 2 Cars" County. Add to that fact that the roads always seem to be under construction.

Add to that the ethnicity of many of the drivers who cause me the most grief. I'm going to try be as PC and Bigot-less as possible. I love all my Hispanic people on the earth, but there are about 20% of you out there that should have been bared from driving since birth! This morning in particular I was cutoff twice by two old Spanish ladies. Then an old Hispanic taxi driver thought "lane ends 500ft" equates to "switch lanes now without looking".

Yes, they were all Spanish only because this is Miami and Hialeah which technically has more Hispanic people then any other part of south Florida. If it was Atlanta, I'd probably just be complaining about black people...

*Keep both hands on the wheel when making comments...

Bible Studies for Dyslexics

Short post tonight (at least I'm awake), but I did want to point out a website I found by accident. If you type www.coolfozzie.blogPsot.com instead of www.coolfozzie.blogSpot.com you get whisked away to a lovely website called Mega Site of Bible Studies. What a lovely designed website. From a web design point of you, somebody needs to move up from crayons to colored pencils... The site does have a lovely array of things dealing with the end of the world. This place is ripe for a Pixar adaptation!

Something else....

From The GAYS Stole All The Rainbows : Director's Commentary

At the end when I said "Shout outs to all gay people I know", I originally wanted to say "Shout outs to all my gay people" but I figured the semantics would be lost on some people and imply that I enjoyed the company of men. I should of been an english major.

*Comments

1 Part Werewolf - 1 Part Grizzly Bear = COMAP

I've always admitted that somewhere tucked away in my DNA, you'll find pieces of wolf genes. For someone who has been shaving since 8th grade, being harry is a way of life. Lately though I've noticed I got a couple of strands of Grizzly Bear in me too!

Once a week, my body decides that it was never meant to work a "9-5" and induces a coma where I really wanted to just take nap. My goal is to usually nap for an hour or so because scientifically speaking, naps longer then an hour are actually bad for you! I also figure to wake up naturally so I leave the alarm clock off.

My nap which started yesterday at 6:30pm (right after the simpsons) lasted well until 1:00am! That would be nice if I had nothing to do. Those 6.5 hours were already ear-marked for activities.

• Make a facebook picture for a bro
• Finally change my old one from Thriller
• Work on the flash for the ZK Website
• Get some layout stuff done for the Reunion Weekend website
• Ofcourse, hit you with a fresh blog entry

But alas, none of these activities ever saw the light of day, or even the uh, dark of night. Clearly my Grizzly Bear genes sent me into a hibernation not only last night, but atleast once a week. I'm forever stuck in a cycle like a sleepy version of Groundhog Day where I can never go one whole week without donating a day to my "nap-coma"

Infact, I just thought of a new word for these periods of sleep. COMAP, which is a coma like nap. Somebody call Webster and let him know I've got a word for sale, as long as I keep the marketing rights. Yes I can see it now, COMAP Cereal, COMAP Action Figures, COMAP: The Musical!

Losing all of my non-working day wasn't all that bad. Though it was 1am, I did get to chat with a fellow nap abuser since I was wide awake. Good times at 1am I tell ya!

I'd like to say I'll have a regular post tonight for August 3rd, but you never know how todays nap will turn out...

*YAWN - Comments?

Blog Banner - Web 2.0'ish

Not a real post right now, I'm on my lunch break though, and I wanted to let everyone know about the gangster banner I put up for the blog. Since I started this blog I've been thinkin about what to make the banner look like so I can make my blog stand out more. At the same I've been learning about Web 2.0 for the ZK Website redesign.

I'm not going to get into what I think Web 2.0 is right now, but there is definitly a style to Web 2.0 graphics. The key word for Web 2.0 Graphics are SIMPLE & GRADIENTS. And sometimes that wet floor look. Add to that the "violator badge" (the funny looking star thingy) and viola!

If you have been visiting my blog since the beginning ( last week ) then you remember how the old banner looked. I had to reproduce this in "paint" because most blog banners here are just a background image with the words written in html.

Doesn't the new one look so much more friendly & inviting aka Web 2.0'ish. Now getting it to fit in the damn CSS was an exercise in jedi-like patience. But I got it. I also did a little market testing (mainly talking to myself) and changed the sub title of the blog from "50% Journal - 50% Director's Commentary - 100% Me" to something a little more catchy like "Now with 70% more sarcasm" to fit the violator feel. I also attached a joke to the joke of the title name. See it. I bet you did... What do you think?

PS: Come back tonight for another witty yet strikingly intellectual post from your's truly...

Help Keep Janet off Drugs

Today I found the most shocking article I've seen in a while, or a week, but shocking non the less. According to Janet Jackson, Jermaine Dupri is the best lover she ever had! Did you also hear a pig flew into a powerline in Miami and caused a power outage. That then caused all the Ice Cream they were serving in hell to finally melt. Janet told Essence Magazine

I feel like I finally met my match. In relationships, it was always the guy telling me, 'Okay, hold on, wait a minute

The article then goes on to say how Janet's previous "smash buddies" would make excuses not to have sex with her. Good lord! I know as men, we tend to get tired with old "kit-kat" but come on, this is Janet Jackson, not Janet Reno! Look at this picture! If you're a man and ever in your life say "I got a head-ache" to that, TURN IN YOUR PENIS!

I'm also highly disgusted that Jermaine Dupri can even handle Janet Jackson. It is our nature as men to hate on other brothers who are ugly and got fine girlfriends. Currently Jermaine and Jay-Z are on the top of our "hate, hate, hate" list. We were all laughing when Jermaine and Janet got together. "If he can get her, anybody can...." was the common phrase. Well clearly Jermaine is doing something extraordinary to have Janet "Fine Booty" Jackson all sprung. He's like 100 years old! He was grown when he was with Kris Kross and that was when I was in 3rd grade!

He should write a book. It'd probably sell more then all his albums combined. Just put the *gulp* future Mrs. Dupri on the cover. Honestly, I'd be first in line, but knowing me, I'd just wait a couple months for it at the library. What is his secret? It's not money cause anybody who can sing with Jackson for a last name could probably sell your family back into slavery. What is his secret....?

-#1875 in the queue for "How short ugly dudes get ultra sexy women by Jermaine Dupri"

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